NATALIJA HAYTERPSYCHOTHERAPY & COUNSELLINGPerfectionism enjoys a good reputation. In job interviews people offer it as their flaw-that's-secretly-a-virtue. But clinically, perfectionism is one of the quiet engines behind anxiety, depression, procrastination and burnout.
Striving vs perfectionism
Healthy striving is the pursuit of excellence with room to fall short. Perfectionism is the belief that falling short is unacceptable — that your worth is contingent on flawless performance. The first energises; the second exhausts and punishes.
The hidden costs
It drives procrastination (if it can't be perfect, why start), all-or-nothing thinking, harsh self-criticism, difficulty delegating, and an inability to enjoy achievements because attention jumps straight to the flaw. Over time it is a direct route to burnout.
What therapy does
Therapy helps loosen the link between worth and performance — usually learned early, often from an environment where approval felt conditional. CBT addresses the perfectionist thinking patterns; deeper work addresses where the belief that you must earn your worth first took hold. Letting go of perfectionism is not lowering your standards; it is freeing yourself from a standard that was never serving you.
Natalija Hayter is a BABCP-registered psychotherapist with over a decade of clinical experience across the NHS, the voluntary sector and private practice, trained at the Tavistock and AGIP. She offers CBT, psychoanalytic and relational therapy in Pimlico, London and online, in English, Latvian and Russian. More about Natalija
Last reviewed: June 2026 by Natalija Hayter, BABCP-registered psychotherapist.