NATALIJA HAYTERPSYCHOTHERAPY & COUNSELLINGA growing number of adults are recognising, often in their thirties, forties and beyond, that lifelong struggles with focus, organisation and restlessness might be ADHD — something missed entirely in childhood, especially in those who learned to mask it.
How it looks in adults
Adult ADHD is less "hyperactive child" and more: difficulty sustaining attention on dull tasks (but intense focus on engaging ones), chronic disorganisation and lateness, impulsivity, emotional intensity, restlessness, and a long history of underachievement relative to ability that never quite made sense.
Why it's missed
Many people, particularly women and high-achievers, develop elaborate coping strategies that mask ADHD for decades — until a life change overwhelms those strategies. The late recognition often arrives with a complicated mix of relief and grief.
The role of therapy
A formal ADHD diagnosis sits with a psychiatrist or specialist, and medication can be part of the picture. Therapy plays a complementary role: processing the emotional impact of late recognition, addressing the low self-esteem and anxiety that years of unexplained struggle often leave behind, and building practical strategies. Understanding yourself accurately, sometimes for the first time, can be profoundly freeing.
Natalija Hayter is a BABCP-registered psychotherapist with over a decade of clinical experience across the NHS, the voluntary sector and private practice, trained at the Tavistock and AGIP. She offers CBT, psychoanalytic and relational therapy in Pimlico, London and online, in English, Latvian and Russian. More about Natalija
Last reviewed: June 2026 by Natalija Hayter, BABCP-registered psychotherapist.